Written when he was 13. It was their first kiss...she threw up later hahah XD romanceeeee
dear Lyssie you do kiss Very Nice and I am sorry I was cheeky and Vex'd you but I am running away to Sea now and thot I would writ you Good-Bye for I will be away to the Oreeant an see the World tho I expect to be home by the hollidays. P.S. I would like Vice-Admr'l Nelson back when I Return as he is my favourite in the Set. P.P.S I will bring you a Kincajou for a Pet as soon as I am for certain what it is I am Allmost positive it is a sort of Monkie tho.
Written at 20 not long after he had come home. As he is an unreliable narrator, let the reader be forewarned about the accuracy of this letter.
Sweet Alyssum (yes I kno how youDespise that pet name but this is a Secret lett'r is it not and I wish only to Protect your identity I swear!)
It is 2 in the morning and I think thismust be the 1st lett'r I have writtn you in at least 7 years not counting the ones I tore up or spill'd Ink upon an I am not at All for Certain if I will even work up the courage to give it to you but I finditis some mesure of comfort to at least Pretend that I am telling you thse
I was in a Fine Temper when I left today, yesterday eveningrather? The cause ofwhich you can guess but at Any rate I had gone outin all intentions of courting forgetfulness for a few bless'd hours (and here dear Alyssum I must be
So! I was enjoying my Tea in my private berth an feeling very Comfortablle and drowsy when I heard footsteps down the corridor, the curtain drew aside, a servant I presumed came in. I feigned slumber not knowing if he had come to refill my bowl or rummage through my coinpurse (you cannot be Too cautious in these Tea Houses) and I could hear himwalkingabout with a decidedly Light step before I heard the sound of a Florrboard being quietly pried up so then I thought to look! No man but a West-Indies girl and I kept my eyes half-clos'd slits and appraisedher a moment (and now I can see you raising your eyebrow and I assure you she was unremarkable in her appearance so do not scowl so in my imaginings!) Her
I held her wrist tightly (never fear Alyssum I imagine you frowning on behalf of a member of your sex and I was not brutal towards her but for all I knew she was a common thief of sorts I had no Intention of her escaping!) She stared right back, bold little creature! 'Well senhorita' said I affecting my usual Portuges accent 'do you care to explain yourself we could start with a name', she pressedher lips together tightly a moment and replied with a surprisingly calm and charming little french accent that a true gentilhomme would not demand a lady's name without first properly introducing himself ha ha! Why this little serving girl had manners as pretty as any debutante, Alyssum! So I gave her a brief mocking incline of my head and said the first name that popped in my head, 'john harkaway, senhorita! merchant seaman, at your service!' (a dashing name eh perhaps I should change it permanently!) and took great pleasure then in holding up the little phial with its luminous jade in front of her eyes that I had palmedwithout her even knowing! 'now what is this pretty bauble, and do you intend to give me your name? ' said I turning it over and noting a worn label and then to my alarm her outraged eyes fluttered shut, her head fell back against the alleywall and she began to slide down, swooning it would seem whereupon I knelt and attempted to pull her back to her feet again and do not Feel too Harshly towards me for being so frightfultowards this strange woman because a second later I heard the click ofa hammer being drawn back and the sly girl had the muzzle of a dainty little Gun pressed against my throat!
I dropp'd her wrist and held up my hands and remarked faintly, 'well Hermeline it would seem you have outwitted me' and she did have the gall to smile at me then, a very cool and proper schoolmistress sort of smile and say 'Renart le goupil, so I have' and at that point Iwould have said somethingabout being more akin to Baldwin the Ass hoping to distract her with a bit more banter enough to perhaps either do something terribly clever and save my miserable hyde (not likely) have her be amused and relent and release me (also not likely) or have my nervously chattering jaw blown off in irritation (highly likely) only something landed further down the alley with a heavy thud and I heard them approaching. My eyes dart'd towards that direction!
O! Alyssum I have seen a great many terrible and Strange things upon the high seas, in the ports of Asia Minor and in the curling smoke of Dreams and Nightmares and Delirium, but nothing I repeat Nothing could have prepared me for the grinning, grotesque Phantasm that emerged from the darkness then to stare at me! Ugh ugh ugh! Have many times fear'd for my own Preservation and escap'd certain Death through sheer stupid Luck. I thot to myself at last here Providence had turned its back upon me and this would be the end of me I cannot even describe the Thingnow without shudderingViollently and looking over my shoulder and feeling the Hairs stand up strait upon my neck...teethteethteeth! I dimly remember that odd woman addressing-addressing the thing! as if it were a colleague calling it Monsieur Jack but I do not think even the strongest and coollest of men would think less of me to know that at that moment my senses utterly Fled me and I do not even remember falling towards the ground but that is where I found myself sometime later in the night, miraculously Intact but with a dreadful sharp pain in my head. Phial, woman and creature were gone.
I would have doubted myself, thought it no more than a particularly vivid dream only when I reached up to keep my head from falling off my shoulders, there was the blue bandanna tied up around my forehead and it stands to reason that I must have struck my head somewhere when I swoon'd and I suposeit is a wonder I did not dash out what little brains I do have. I took it off and glanced at it, shov'd it away in my pocket and resolved then to leave Immediatelly. I was alive at the moment but no Doubt lying around in a london Alley would Change those circumstances swiftly.
An again I wonder that I am not Mad I am not at all certain of the reality of the Beast thinking (hoping!) it was that particularlystrong Tea but that Curious frenchwoman surely had to be real and it will Vex me until I can prove it. I am resollved to play Inspector then and solve this mystery, I assume she thot me an Ignorant seaman who cannot read but I recall the label of her phial has the name P.H. Bishop on it and from the smell of chemicals I am guessing she works perhaps in a apothcary or chemist's shop.
I am stupid ugh how can I think to give you this Riduculous letter as I pause to go back and read over it, it sounds nothing more than the unhinged Rambles of a
I sometimes wonder didyou miss me while I was gone for I miss'd you and wanted
Be assured the letter most likely ended with a big faceshaped ink smudge from falling asleep/passing out on his writing table heh